Divorce is one social ill that has befallen the world today. The holy bible detests divorce. The society itself abhors divorce with passion but still every day that passes by marriages fail. Most marriages today are being patched and if care is not taken divorce will still set in. Divorce is always very common in American and European countries as opposed to some countries in Africa. Divorce has a lot evil trends it leaves behind any time it occurs. In some cases children born to such marriages feel deprived of either motherly care or fatherly care. There are many different causes and reasons for divorce, each of them specific to that particular couple’s marital relationship, their individual experiences and personal problems. In general, all the divorce experienced in the world today is as a result of one of the following:

· Immaturity: These days you see a lot of ladies jumping into marriage because of money at a very tender age. When one life challenge or the other comes, the marriage crashes because the lady jumped into marriage at an unripe age when she virtually knows nothing about marriage and life experiences and challenges.

· Infidelity: This has been one of the major causes of divorce. Most marriages have crashed as a result of this. Either the man found out that his wife is cheating on him or the other way round. Only few people can find out about their spouses infidelity and still go on with the marriage.

· Abandonment: Marriage is a union and a union is always between two people. When one of the couple starts feeling that his or her spouse is abandoning him or her, the notion is that another person is taking his or her attention. If not properly checked at this stage, divorce results.

· Lack of Communication: Communication is very important in a relationship. The man for instance should make sure the wife knows what he is doing at all times, where he is going, what he does, his plans etc, on the other hand the wife should not have any secret. When any of the parties starts feeling that there are some things they don’t know, insecurity sets in and if not checked divorce ensues.

· Physical Abuse: Most men turn their wives into punching bags. This is not good as your wife is supposed to be your best friend. Many women endure this and try to patch up their marriage especially in the African countries, but its not so in most developed countries like America. This is another point that causes over 50% of divorce cases today.

· Drug and Alcohol Abuse: Most marriages today have failed because of alcohol and drug abuse. Many ladies enter into marriages without knowing the men they are getting married to until they are in the marriage. When this later unfolds such marriages collapse.

· Ego Problem: Some women are richer than their husbands. Some are more influential because of their positions in society. Due to this, such women don’t like being under their husbands and the man in the bid to show his ego, as the man of the house will not take it. If this tussle is not managed well, such marriage will collapse.

· Sexual Abuse: Most men turn their wives to sex machine. No respect for the woman and her desires. Some men see sexual intercourse as food and will not want to care about their wives feeling and reaction. This has destroyed a lot of marriages.

· Joblessness: Most marriages have crashed because the man could not perform his duties of taking care of the family due to unemployment. Some ladies cannot stand living with a man who cannot provide for her.

· Lust: What most people today call love at first site is lust. You see a woman the first day, you conclude you love her and before one says jack both of you are at the alter exchanging marriage vows. When the truth unfolds, the marriage crashes and people say they fell out of love. It is lust.

· Cultural and Religious Differences: Most people marry people from diverse cultural backgrounds. There have been several cases where most Africans marry Europeans or American citizens only to find out later that they cannot cope with the cultural or religious differences. For peace to reign they go their separate ways (divorce).

· Crime: Most marriages crash as a result of one partner getting involved in crime. People with very good moral background cannot take it to continue living with a man or woman who is arrested and probably imprisoned for crime.

· Incompatibility: If the man and woman are not compatible, there is every reason that the marriage will not succeed. They may be sexually, physically, spiritually or morally incompatible.

· Family Background: The truth is that family background has a lot of influence on people. If your parents divorced, watch it you need to work on your self, otherwise there is every likelihood that you will also divorce.

· Failed Expectations: This is another major reason why many marriages fail. People enter into marriage with a lot of expectations. If these expectations are not met or cut short, it leads to divorce.

The list of reasons why marriages fail or why couples divorce can go on and on. But a lot of researches and real life experiences dance around these points enumerated above.

Brides have always come in a variety of skin tones, and it’s about time some wedding stationery was developed to celebrate African American roots. Finally, that stationery is here, and there’s no need to be stuck with a blonde blue-eyed bride on your stationery or as a cake topper.

In stationery, gold and ivory is all the rage. Invitations in this color combination can match any wedding color theme.  They can be elegant, casual or chic. Make your invitation cards fancy by choosing delicate Ecru paper or a different type of fold.

There are several ways to add an ethnic touch to your wedding invitation cards. First of all, you need to think about your wedding style. Is your event going to be a traditional African style wedding with African cultural dress? Is it going to be a more traditional American or European wedding where the bride wears a white dress and the groom sports a tuxedo? Do you plan to incorporate any African symbols or designs in your wedding décor, favors, or table centerpieces? Before choosing your invitations it’s important to know what you want the rest of your wedding to look like.

For a very African style wedding, choose invitations showing a bride and groom in traditional wedding attire. This will make a colorful invitation and show guests that they are welcome to wear their traditional wedding clothes as well. Choose invitation cards with ancient Ethiopian symbols, foil tribal symbols, or different African designs and patterns to show that your wedding is not going to be just a traditional “Western” event.

Even if you don’t plan to put much cultural flair into your wedding, you can choose to have a card depicting an African American bridal couple. A delicate pencil sketch or a drawing etched in gold will show guests they are expected to dress up and that would probably fit in more by wearing modern dresses and suits. To make the invitation more personal, put your own photo in the invitation. Guests, especially those great aunts who haven’t seen you since your childhood, will appreciate seeing what you and your fiancé look like. Even if guests are unable to attend the wedding, they will feel as if they’ve been a part of it by receiving a photo wedding invitation card.

These styles of cards give you some great options when it comes to incorporating your heritage in your big day. Browse the options until you find something that fits your personality and your wedding style.

The hadith in which an Ethiopian woman laments her racial inferiority to Muhammad, who consoles her by saying, “In Paradise, the whiteness of the Ethiopian will be seen over the stretch of a thousand years.”

Also: Another hadith quotes Muhammad: “Do not bring black into your pedigree.”

Are these true? I dont have the sources, so if they are can you provide the sources. People are intent to associate Islam with Racism, but i dont even know if these are true, one could have just made them up. Okay thanks.

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Wedding Solutions’ Top Ideas to Go Green with Your Wedding

The eco-chic wedding has grown in popularity over the past few years. Couples are looking to protect the environment by choosing organic and recyclable options, as well as offsetting the impact guests’ travel will have on the earth.

Whereas weddings often mean “the more extravagant the better,” having a green wedding can make a statement to your guests about the importance of protecting the earth from wear and tear.

The easiest way to keep emissions and effects on the environment low is to have a small wedding – 20 guests instead of 200. Obviously, this isn’t always possible. The goal is to have a beautiful wedding that is as least wasteful as it can be.

Many facilities are now catering to eco-chic weddings. However, be aware that a green wedding can cost up to 20 percent more than a traditional wedding.  For instance, having an organic menu can raise costs by 10 percent. But if the environment is your main priority, there are plenty of great ways to plan a beautiful green wedding and keep the environmental impact low.

Here are Wedding Solution’s favorite tips for a green wedding:

Invitations: Use organic or soy ink on recycled paper  Choose paper not made from trees. Paper alternatives include bamboo, hemp, banana stalks, and even cotton.

c.       Save paper by skipping the multi-envelope invitations and using a postcard for your Save the Date

d.       Use online invitations or create a wedding website to give guests details of events such as the bachelor/bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinner, and bridal shower

Location: Have your wedding and reception in the same place to avoid wasting energy and natural resources on transportation Have the wedding outside, instead of in an energy-inefficient reception hall. If you have an outdoor wedding, you can utilize the natural beauty of the site to have fewer wasteful decorations You can also locate an LEED-certified space to have an indoor wedding. LEED stands for “Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design” and means the space is sustainable and conserves water, energy, and electricity using solar power, insulation panels, and other state-of-the-art technology. Visit the U.S. Green Building Council’s website to search a list of LEED-certified locations by city or state — www.usgbc.org

Flowers: Use potted plants — then have your guests take them home as favors and reuse them. Or have them donated to a local hospice or elderly care center. If you do want flowers, get organically grown flowers – meaning they are grown without pesticides or insecticides. Consider organic roses, which are a beautiful option and have an amazing – and real – fragrance. Non-organic roses are actually sprayed with perfume. Have your guests toss the organic rose petals as you walk down the aisle. (Be aware that organic flowers won’t last as long, however, so make sure your florist considers timing.) Get flowers from a local nursery to avoid using up natural resources during shipping.

On the table: Choose an organic menu, with seasonal or locally grown products (to avoid shipping costs). You will be hard-pressed to find an all-organic caterer, so simply instruct your caterer to shop at local farmer’s markets and choose fresh, season ingredients, such as heirloom tomatoes and fresh herbs in the summer. Be aware that with a seasonal menu, you should find a caterer you really trust, because it’s not likely you’ll be able to taste the menu ahead of time. Donate any extra food to a homeless shelter! Choose organic wine or beer selections. Make sure they are registered with the USDA National Organic Program Use recycled napkins and table linens Use natural products for placecards – one couple used a pressed tree leaf with each guest’s name on it as a placemarker. Or writing guests’ names on a smooth river with a paint pen is an eco-friendly option. Choose beeswax or soy-based candles over those made with petroleum, a non-earth friendly product. Best of all, beeswax candles smell amazing, like honey!

g.       For the serious eco-friendly couple, request biodegradable utensils and plates – made out of potatoes, cornstarch, or sugarcane. Then have them composted after the wedding.

Gown & tux: Purchase a secondhand or vintage gown. Have it altered to look more modern and to fit your body perfectly. Donate your gown after the ceremony

c.       The groom can wear a hemp tux

d.       Buy a dress – and have your bridesmaids buy dresses – that you will wear again or can have altered

Rings: Buy a conflict-free diamond. The Blood Diamond controversy is very hot right now – this means diamonds mined in war-torn African countries that help fund rebel armies, and finance arms purchases and other illegal activities in those countries. Be sure to ask for certified conflict-free diamonds. Opt for a vintage piece. Or you can have an old piece of jewelry melted down and made into a new ring.

c.       A lot of eco-friendly couples are opting for wooden rings. They’re custom-made and inexpensive (a few hundred dollars). Touch Wood rings are gaining popularity … www touchwood.com

Gifts: Create a registry where guests donate to a favorite charity instead of buying you gifts. Avoid something political that guests might take issue with … stick to organizations that benefit international aid, nature, animals, disease prevention, or relief efforts. Their contributions will be tax-deductible, and you won’t end up with a bunch of crystal glassware that you use once a year. Register for a home-delivery service that delivers organic food products Ask for national park passes

Honeymoon:

a.       Instead of a lavish honeymoon, go on a volunteer trip! Build houses for Habitat for Humanity or help hurricane victims.

b.       Take an eco-friendly or low-impact honeymoon. Stay in a green resort, go camping.

Travel and Carbon Credits: Carbon dioxide emissions from guest travel are the single biggest environmental impact from your wedding. The energy needed for lighting, catering, DJs, etc. always plays a role. Use an online “wedding carbon footprint” calculator to determine the amount of greenhouse gases and carbon emissions that will be generated by guests flying and driving into town. Then, the couple can purchase “carbon credits” – which puts money toward U.S. carbon-reducing energy projects ­– to help offset the environmental damage of the wedding. One site designed specifically for wedding planning is www.terrapass.com. You might also ask your guests to contribute to carbon credits, instead of buying a wedding gift.

By Alex A. Lluch

www.weddingsolutions.com

www.wspublishing.com

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Num 12:1 And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.

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Any foreigner getting prepared to marry an African particularly a Nigerian however needs to know certain things about how marriage as an institution is considered in Africa (Nigeria). Marriage in Nigeria unlike what obtains in the western world is held very sacred by Nigerians, as a result is not taken to mean a contract. Once married to a Nigerian such a marriage is considered ever binding as divorce is almost forbidden. Unlike what we hear of in western countries, divorce leaves a woman with lots of loses so the thought of this want to make a woman spend the rest of life with her man. In some African societies, it is so worst that a woman may be customarily forbidden from moving out of her once matrimonial home with her personal belongings not even her plates and pots.

When we hear that among the western countries of the world, a divorce benefits a woman with almost half of her ex-husband’s assets it amuse us a lot, leaving the women hear to wonder whether this is true or merely invented. Remember also that an African culture may permit a man to take up another woman as his second wife even without divorcing his first heartthrob wife which he deem unnecessary until he is forced to do so. Such is life here in Africa. Though owing to economic problems it is becoming less common to find a man taking up a second wife

Situations also exist where the members of his family may not take divorce instituted and actualized by a man against his wife very seriously. For this reason, there are many women who even after divorce legally obtained against them at a competent court of laws continue to bear their ex-husbands name. It may also surprise you to learn that sometimes too at the death of man who has legally obtained divorce judgment against his wife, the ex-wife is returns to his matrimonial home often encouraged by her In-Laws. Such expectedly happens in the Nigerian society because the Nigerian society views marriage differently.

It is a society that marriage is viewed as a serious business. This explains the reason when a woman is getting married in this society; she is made to understand that being querulous about her husband’s actions towards her would not be welcomed much less contemplating returning to her maiden home because there were quarrels. She therefore needs to think twice and requires herself to ask herself several important questions before marrying that man. Marriage in Nigeria is like moving into a new home where she is never expected to return not even at the very strange complaint that could as worst as weighty. In the end she is advised to go back and continue to commit herself to her husband.

Again, any foreigner wishing to enter into a marriage with a Nigerian must also understands the maybe the attitude of overbearing influence of Mother-In-Laws on their Daughter-In-Laws. I just think the Nigerian society or African tradition by extension ordains it because it happens in Ghana, Benin, Liberia, Cameroon, Botswana, etc. It is simply so. African mothers generally do not appear to welcome the seeming ideas that the sons are married and have or should become independent of them. The Igbo of Nigeria believe that an “Okro” tree never grows taller than the person that planted it. That is how best it can be explained to any foreigner wishing to marry a Nigerian.

If you are getting married to Nigerian of Yoruba extraction consider it appropriate to always kneel down whenever you want to say “Eka aro” (Good morning), “Eka oson”  (Good afternoon) or Ekwu-Irole” (Good evening) greetings to your Mother-In-law. It is applicable to father-In-Laws but father-In-Laws are generally more lenient. Greeting your Yoruba Father-In-Law requires your kneeling down as well if you are a lady. You offend the youngest member of your Yoruba husband’s family if you ever dare address him by pronouncing his/her name. Always bear this on mind. You require a pet name specially formulated by you to address them at any given time.

Notice also that though it not a rule, generally African traditions frown at a marriage proposal in which it is believed that a Lady is older than the husband to be. The reason being that is assumed that suppression of the man by his wife will soon follow if allowed. It is as a result of this that many mothers will go a long way in stoutly objecting to any proposed marriage on this basis. Many marriage proposals have hit the rock owing to this development. It is for this reason that most African women will conceal their true age guide against this. An African lady may therefore appear to be aging physically but never age wise. 

The first time your Fiancé takes you to visit your Mother-In-law to be. Typical African society or call it ethics if you like expects you to sit down at a spot quietly observing all taking place within this environment, not talking much though. You might be expected to sometimes stand on feet to assist your In-Laws to be in maybe arranging the table for entertainment. Remember that taciturnity becomes your most cherished weapon in achieving your aim. Constantly dish out smiles to all whether they require it or not. Above all, you must understand that the African society places high regard on compliments. As noted above, a Yoruba society particularly may deny you of marriage if it is discovered that you are the type who shows aversions for greeting just anyone you find.

On maintaining constant visits to your Fiancé’s family home you need to win their favour and by extension your marriage by helping them to do some washings, sweepings, cooking not minding whether there are juniors around the vicinity. At this time, you also need to mind your dress code, shun skimpy wears, and never visit their homes with numerous faces as friends.

Finally, bear in mind that as a foreigner wishing to marry to a Nigerian that getting married to him certainly means getting married to the whole of his family. Some prudent Ladies operating within the African societies believe that pleasing their In-Laws more help them to maintain their matrimonial homes. Instances abound where a Man’s family refuse to partake in his wish to marry another woman because the rejected woman still has family’s heart. The implication is that proposed second marriage fails woefully.  

You may have known that Africans place a very high value on traditional marriage system over church, Registry or other European styled weddings. Many foreigners have either been deceived into just consummating their weddings in churches or registries without first holding the traditional marriages or having it done at all. This is because the families of either the man or Lady do not approve of the marriage and the couple believes that the best way to come out of it is to quickly run to the church or registry. A couple may temporarily find peace in this but it will soon done on them that they are illegally married (in the eye of both families) and will however do so when peace returns. This is Marriage by Customary Acts, as it is legally known in some quarters like Nigeria remains the most recognized form of marriage in Africa.

Usually therefore, a proper marriage rites begins with the Introduction ceremony closely followed by traditional marriage and perhaps complemented with a church/registry wedding. In this way your marriage becomes a recognized one, well appreciated by all. You may be surprised to learn here that when a marriage not traditionally recognized suddenly ends with an unexpected death of the so-called wife what is required within a typical African tradition is first and foremost an insistence by the so-called wife’s family that a traditional marriage in which the Late woman will be married be conducted even before the corpse interred with funeral ceremony held.

Incase of the death of the so-called husband, the woman usually is shown the way out of her once assumed matrimonial home leaving behind the children. We have also seen cases where the children from such illegal marriages are never believed to be those of the man but the woman because they are still not legally married. Almost all the tribes of Africa do this except maybe South African Whites minorities. 

An ideal way to experience an African style of accommodation is to stay at the Kalahari Hotel in Wisconsin Dells. This hotel offers an ultimate experience of an African Safari while featuring the most modern facility of a water park.

The Kalahari Hotel in Wisconsin Dells is an ideal vacation place for tourists who would want to experience the adventures of the African Safari without having to go to Africa. The hotel features a large collection of tribal artifacts, jungle plants, African murals and many other African attractions.

The hotel also features its large indoor water park which is ideal for enjoyment with the whole family and friends.

Guests are welcomed by the friendly staffs. The hotel lobby is full of different African decors. As a tradition, each guest is provided with a colorful bracelet that serves as an entrance pass upon entering the water parks facilities.

The hotel is composed of more than 700 spacious guestrooms mostly called Hut Rooms. These rooms, decorated with a safari style theme, are equipped with microwave oven, mini refrigerator, iron, hair dryer, colored TV, coffee maker and other electronic facilities.

Other types of suites found in the hotel are as follows:

• African Queen

• Bird’s Eye

• Combination

• Horizon

• Hospitality

• King Whirlpool

• Royal African Queen

• Royal Hospitality

• Royal King Whirlpool

• Royal Two Room Family

• Safari

• Two Room Family

Other types of rooms include:

• Desert

• Hut

• Lodge

• Nomad

There are also condo units and cottages available for sale or for rent.

There are plenty of restaurants within the hotel offering different kinds of local and international cuisines. The Kahunaville Restaurant is one of the restaurants which serve specialties from a Las Vegas type culinary. Room catering can be arranged from these restaurants.

The indoor water park of the hotel promotes a lot of excitement and attraction that can be enjoyed exclusively by the hotel guests. It comes with a wide area of dressing rooms. Among the major attractions of the water park are:

• Master Blaster

• Tanzanian Twister

• Rippling Rhino

• Lazy River

• Victoria Falls

• Flow Rider

• Wave Pool

The water park employs professional lifeguards to ensure the safety of its guests. Exclusive pools for children are also available.

Right at the area of the water park, children and adults can have a refreshing drink of their choice from the concessions around the area.

Guests can also have a sip of their favorite wine or have dinner at the Great Karoo just outside the water park. It is strategically located for a great view of the whole water park.

After having the most exciting ride and spending a long day of adventure, you can indulge with a relaxing spa treatment at the Oasis Day Spa and Salon. It offers several natural spa treatments which will surely provide you the most relaxing experience you can ever have.

Hotel guests can also have the opportunity for hands-on experience in creating those masterpieces of pottery at the Pottery Pizzazz. This shop also sells a wide variety of pots explicitly designed ideal as souvenir items.

A great shopping experience can be enjoyed at the Zakanaka that features a wide array of beachwear, souvenir items, safari items and African clothing.

The hotel also caters to any social gathering events or business-related occasions such as tradeshows, exhibits, weddings, parties or corporate meetings. There are many conference rooms to choose from. Catering services can be arranged for the specific occasion.

The Kalahari Hotel in Wisconsin Dells is really a one-of-a-kind hotel that provides the most complete package perfect for a vacation and adventure.

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